


Just Another Day at the Daily Planet

by xtremeroswellian



Category: Smallville
Genre: Big Dumb Alien, But mostly just in good fun?, Clark bashing, Gen, I just had issues with her character development on the show, Lois bashing, Meant for humor, Pure Crack, but I actually love her, i broke the fourth wall, season five spoilers, seriously it's just crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xtremeroswellian/pseuds/xtremeroswellian
Summary: Clark Kent rushed into the office of the Daily Planet at super-speed, wearing a blue shirt and a red jacket. “Chloe! We have a problem!”The pretty blond reporter looked up from her desk. “We have a problem or you have a problem?” She raised an eyebrow.
Relationships: Chloe Sullivan & Clark Kent, Mentions of Lex Luthor/Lana Lang, mentions of Clark Kent/Lois Lane - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Just Another Day at the Daily Planet

Clark Kent rushed into the office of the Daily Planet at super-speed, wearing a blue shirt and a red jacket. “Chloe! We have a problem!”

The pretty blond reporter looked up from her desk. “We have a problem or you have a problem?” She raised an eyebrow.

“We, definitely we. I need your help.”

“Okay, I’ll bite. Or Spike will.” She nodded toward the guy at the back of the room.

Clark turned to look and gasped when he saw Milton Fine there. “Chloe, what’s he doing here?”

She shrugged. “I figure either he’s hungry or he’s here to provide me with some kind of intel.”

“Why would you talk to a guy who’s an evil killer??” he demanded, shaking his head.

“Don’t ask me, I just do what the writers tell me to.”

Clark’s face scrunched in confusion. “Writers?”

“Yeah, you know. The Smallville writers.”

He gave her a weird look. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah. I feel fine.” She shrugged and turned back to her computer. “So what’s the problem this week, Clark? Continuity?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Chloe.” He shook his head, looking baffled. “Are you speaking in Kryptonian?”

“Clark,” she said slowly, looking at him with great patience, “Even if I was, you would understand me because you speak Kryptonian.”

“So how come I had to have you decipher the Kryptonian text that Lion-El wrote?”

“Because I’m smarter than you?”

“Oh. Okay.” He shrugged and sat down on her desk. “Anyway, the problem is Lana and Lex.”

“Of course it is.” She rolled her eyes.

“Chloe, you have no idea how bad it feels to see them together all the time. It makes me sick.”

“You’re right, I have absolutely no idea what it feels like to see the guy I’m in love with drooling over another girl.”

“Huh?”

She rolled her eyes again. “Never mind, Clark. I know it’s not your fault. It’s the continuity thing again. Tell me what‘s going on.”

“Well, besides the fact they’re together, I think they’re plotting to take over the earth!”

“What makes you say that?” Her eyebrows furrowed.

He held up a picture. “This is a picture that I--uh, that someone took a few minutes ago at the LuthorCorp plant.” He showed her the photo of Lana standing beside Lex, holding onto shackles.

“Uh, Clark, what makes you think they’re taking over the earth because of that?”

“Because why else would Lana have shackles, Chloe!??” He shook his head.

She coughed and tried to rid herself of the mental image that immediately came to mind.

“I need you to hack into the LuthorCorp computer system and find out what they’re up to.” Clark looked at her seriously. “You can do that, right?”

“Of course I can. All I have to do is push this button--” She pointed to the ‘escape’ button on her keyboard, “And I’m in. I’ve hacked into the system so many times I just made the button the default for logging on.”

He looked at her in amazement. “Seriously?”

“Of course. And the F1 key hacks into the White House.”

“Wow.”

“I’m pretty smart,” she told him with a grin.

He grinned back. “And you didn’t even have to take classes!”

“I’m just that good, what can I say?” She shrugged and pressed the ‘escape’ key, logging onto the LuthorCorp system. Immediately a video from the security feed started playing. Lex was shackled to the wall and Lana was grinning wickedly.

“What are they doing?” Clark asked in confusion.

“Clark…I really don’t think you wanna know.”

“So they are taking over the planet!”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Hey, am I gonna do anything in this little ficlet or am I just gonna stand around and look pretty?” Milton Fine, or Spike, whoever, asked from the back of the room, lighting up a cigarette.

Chloe smirked. “We’ll let you know when Angie makes up her mind.”

“Uh, Chloe?”

She looked up at Clark. “Yeah?”

“Who the heck is Angie?”

“It’s a long story,” she said with a heavy sigh, turning back to the screen where Lana was stripping Lex’s shirt from his body.

“That’s a weird way to take over Earth.”

“Oh boy.” Chloe started to say something else when suddenly Lois appeared, almost as if she’d made one of Clark’s speedy entrances.

“Hey Cous!” she said cheerfully.

“Lois…what the hell are you wearing?”

She looked down at the tiny red and blue bikini that barely covered her body. “Oh, I’m getting the attention of all the male viewers!”

“You’ve definitely got my attention,” Fine/Spike commented with a smirk.

She shot him a glare. “Bite me. I’m Superman’s future wife.”

“Don’t tempt me, Bit.”

Looking frustrated, Chloe shook her head. “Lois, why are you here?”

“Oh, I just wanted to let you know that I’m no longer Martha’s chief of staff.”

“What? What happened?”

“Oh, well, the President of the United States called and asked if I’d be HIS chief of staff since I’m so qualified, and well…how can you say no to the president?” Lois shook her head. “Anyway, so I’m off to Seattle to go to the White House.”

“The White House is in Washington DC, not Washington state,” Clark said dryly.

She huffed. “You just think you’re so smart, Smallville. Well one day, we’ll all see how stupid you really are when you marry me! But that’s much later after I become a reporter.”

“You’re gonna be a reporter?” Chloe snorted. “Yeah right.”

“I can be anything I want to be. That’s what the writers said.”

“Well, you are in the opening credits ahead of me even though I’ve been on the show since the Pilot,” Chloe said bitterly.

“Exactly! So take care, I’ll see you guys later!”

“Sometimes I think she understands me better than anyone else!” Clark shook his head, watching her go, then turned back to the screen where Lana was pouring chocolate syrup on Lex’s head. “So how do we stop their evil plan to take over the world?”

Chloe sighed and shut off the screen, turning to look at him. “Clark?”

“Yeah?”

“You really are a BDA.” She patted him on the shoulder and headed out of the office.

“Chloe? What’s a BDA?” he called after her.

She simply waved in response. Just another day at the Daily Planet, she thought wryly.


End file.
